On my chore card last week, I wrote:
“I promise to hug my mom by October 19.”
Don’t laugh. I haven’t seen my mom in 10 years. We have a great relationship, but we live 2400 miles apart, and neither of us has the money to travel.
Last week, my son Andrew gifted me with plane tickets.
So two of my children and I to flew across the country last week to visit my mom in the hospital. Mom fell at home on Sept.25, and her world turned upside down. No broken bones, but she changed overnight from a happy, rational elderly lady living at home — to being confused, bedridden, unable to lift a spoon to feed herself. The doctors diagnosed her with dementia. They never said what form, or how advanced, but they gave her no prospect of ever going home again.
I have never been a hugger, and neither has my mom. So when I wrote that promise down, knowing her condition, I had no idea if it would be easy or difficult to hug her.
When I walked into the hospital room, I almost didn’t recognize my mom. I swallowed my trepidation and said with a smile, “Hello stranger!”
She looked at me for a moment, then said with much emotion, “Willena! Come and give me a huge hug!”
Wow. I wonder if this is what Charles Haanel meant when he spoke of difficulties being dissolved before a difficult interview. I didn’t know what to expect of our visit with my mom, but I didn’t exactly expect her to rally and have such a good few days as she did while we there!
This week’s lesson was all about feelings, and showing our feelings as we read Scroll 1, the Blueprint, and our DMP’s out loud.
“Come on, men!” Mark said. “Show your feminine side!”
He may not know it, but he wasn’t only speaking to the men. Showing my emotions is not easy for me! That’s why those out-loud readings are such a challenge for me. When I hear my own voice, then I can’t deny the lack of enthusiasm and excitement as I read. It doesn’t matter how excited I am inside — my subconscious mind responds to my voice. And if the excitement isn’t there, then guess what? My subby believes I’m still operating on my old blueprint of fear, shyness, and lack of confidence.
Everything we’re told to do during our Masterkey journey has a purpose and we’re to do it exactly as instructed. Over time, we’ll see why, and we’ll be GLAD we did!